Wednesday, June 5, 2013

A sorta-kinda reenactment

My fellow gang members (saying "homies" is tired, and the thesaurus tells me this is a fine and good way to say the same thing) Frank and Patrick were in town recently for another killer show of Patrick's, and while downtown in the rain, we tried to reenact the picture Patrick took in 2008 of me and Frank in the desert.

Sun-kissed in the Salton Sea

Pale and rain-soaked in the nitty, gritty city

OK, it didn't really work, but it was fun trying. (Semi-interesting fact: I am wearing the same jeans in both photos. Meaning, I've been wearing the same dungarees for five years! Wow. If blogging is good for anything, it's tracking how well/fast your jeans wear out.)

And here's some pictorial evidence of what an excellent friend Frank is. He went fabric shopping with me, in search of some black pique. Alas, we didn't find any, but it was fun trying. Oh wait, I already said that last part. Well, it freaking applies.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Things that will never fail to make me laugh

There are certain funny things that get stuck in your mind forever. Right? You think of these things and laugh to yourself enough times that you create a very deep groove in your brain, so deep that it's pretty much guaranteed you'll still be cracking up to yourself about these things when you're 90+ and kickin' it at the retirement home.

I thought of this recently because of this video, which I currently think is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Why it tops the charts exactly is a profound question I cannot answer simply. But what are the top three? The things that have been haunting me since the 70s and 80s, that I've thought of and chuckled to myself over far too many times to mention?

Well, suffice to say, if you ever run into me sobbing on a street corner, whip out your smart phone and summon up:

The Swedish Chef throwing a cabbage up in the air and having it rain down brussel sprouts...

the Saturday Night Live sketch of Maya Angelou promoting Froot Loops. "Quince Loops!"...

and David Bowie and Mick Jagger's video for "Dancing in the Streets," which really makes you wonder what these two were smoking before they filmed this, they seem so much like weird teenagers imitating the two major icons that they themselves happen to be.

David Bowie & Mick Jagger - Dancing In The Street by DavidBowie-Official

Apologies in advance if commercials appear before you watch these...but I swear, it's worth it to tolerate the five seconds or however long you have to wait before you skip them. You'll either get some  hardy laughs or, at the very least, enjoy the revelation "Jocelyn has some wack grooves in her brain." Which, come to think of it, is surely true no matter how ya slice it.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Felis catus status

I'm sure you've been desperately wondering how the cats are doing. You've probably lost a couple of nights' sleep here and there wondering to yourself, "How are Olive and Beatrix?!! What are they doing, thinking, eating, etc., etc.?!" My apologies. They're fine.

Olive has decided to pursue a modeling career. I'm not opposed to this as long as she works on her portfolio on her own time. Here she is this AM, practicing for a photo shoot that I see on her Google calendar is scheduled for sometime in the late afternoon tomorrow.

    It's a jungle out there.

Beatrix has no such ambitions. Sometimes all the "what should I do with my life?" pondering she does obviously depresses the hell out of her but it's nothing a romp around the hallway or a wrestling match with a rubber band can't solve.

    Who am I? Where am I? Why am I?

On the subject of ambitious felines, have you heard about Lil' Bub, a cat who is turning into the ruler of the internet, who also happens to have a jaw problem that prevents her from shutting her mouth? Here she is when she spent a day working at the Buzzfeed offices recently. Enjoy. (If you haven't seen it already, that is. Apparently she's so famous she even made an appearance on Good Morning America. Not that that's such a great barometer of fame or anything.)

Monday, January 14, 2013

Take that, all you Kindles and Nooks

Hm, OK, let's see if I can get back to this blogging thing.

Let's start with a little winter reading list. Here you see pictured a stack of the current tomes I am tackling, and interestingly enough, none are from the library! That's kind of weird for me. Actually, I was going to take The Book of Calamities (I love dark and disturbing books) out of the library, but then I ran across a copy at the Strand for five bucks and the rest is history. I'm about to finish Grace, which has been very entertaining (and was a gift from my lovely fashion-obsessed sister Erica), have only just cracked The Magic Mountain (which I found on the book-swapping table in my laundry room, and P has always been pushing me to read it, and Emma says it is one of the best books in the world, so I kind of have no excuse, I should at least give it a shot) and Crime (which I got off the discount table at St. Mark's Books and I'm kind of disappointed in, except that it contains a great short interview with one of my ex-boyfriends), Hark! A Vagrant is freaking hilarious, I defy you to read this without guffawing immediately (received it as a gift from my humor-appreciative sister Brook), and last but not least, The Art of the Personal Essay, which unsurprisingly has a lot of great stuff in it, and I'm reading because I keep threatening to write a personal essay or two (I bought this one for myself, full price. Wow!).

O.K., perhaps that was a bit too much information and a kind of boring topic for the first post in a long while, but heck, I'm tryin'!

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Cruel humor

How do you like this, for birthday greetings?! The only way I can explain it (yes, I drew it) is that my brother and I have a longstanding the-more-insulting-the-better way of communicating sometimes, common among siblings, for those not in the know. I drew this a longggg time ago, as perhaps you can tell not only by its yellow-y-ness, and its water damage. I think the water damage should be coming from the other side of the page, to accentuate the "as you age" quality.

Monday, April 30, 2012

Henry and Hazy draw themselves as dinosaurs

Need I say more? Enjoy!

Monday, April 9, 2012

Crush on a painting

I'm a little obsessed with Philip Guston's Gladiators lately. I just love it. I love love love it. No, I'm not going to bore you with a long, analytical explanation why, especially as I would fail miserably at articulating one. I think it's just because it strikes me as so mysterious and has such a beautiful composition. It's nice that it has lofty goals, too (Guston was a politically motivated WPA muralist in the 30s, influenced by Diego Rivera; Gladiators was reworked from a mural he painted in Long Island City.)

Why is it possible to stand in front of some works of art drooling for hours, others not so much? The eternal question!

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Custom-made bunny

Here's another weird glove doll, made by request for a little lady in L.A. named Ruby whose favorite color'll never be able to guess this, so I'll just tell you: pink.

Ruby OK'd these lovely moisturizing gloves from this picture on Ebay:

And this was the result:

Let's take a closer look. She had a button nose at first but that made her look too much like a pig with strangely long ears, so I swapped it out for a couple stitches. I'm not sure it worked, but it does seem like a step in the more rabbit-y direction, at least.

Here she is rehearsing for the rapt conversations she's sure to have with Ruby's other dolls:

I hope they all get along! I wonder if, amongst all the other dolls, it'll be a thing of pride to have been made from a pair of gloves, or an embarrassing secret that should be kept from the others at all costs.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

For the glove of it

Why do I keep feeling compelled to make weird animal dolls for children? When my sister told me my niece and nephew were going through a stuffed-animal-loving phase, I grabbed this book, a couple pairs of gloves, and before I'd even really given it much thought, these two weirdos were having a chat on my couch.

I kept thinking of the Bolivian women who hand-knit these alpaca gloves for a living wage as I snipped off the fingers and turned them into legs, arms, and ears.

I think the buttons for eyes are the clincher here. It's interesting how important eyes are, on dolls, illustrations, humans, etc. A thing really comes to life with the right kind of eyeball.

It was kind of hard to pack them up and ship them off. But I knew if they stuck around Beatrix would eventually find and eat them one night while I was sleeping.


The story doesn't end here. P is going on a trip this week to see this little devil:

Whom you may remember from one of several posts like this. Once again, the book came out, the gloves came off.

And turned into him. I like his stretchy pants.

So, in other words, if you have a pair of gloves, especially ones you like very much, you might not want to wave them around when you see me. Or, conversely, if you want one of these, hand 'em over.

Monday, November 28, 2011

My two new favorite works of art

In no particular order (I love them both equally!):

Hazy was suddenly inspired to draw this one day, apparently, and I consider myself incredibly lucky to be the recipient of such an ambitious and optimistic world view. Note: The dog is not only walking his human on a beautiful day, on a planet where the sun wears sunglasses (of course!), he is also simultaneously reading the paper and enjoying a hot cup of joe while he's at it. Impressive.

Yes, I asked Henry and Hazy to draw self-portraits again. How can I resist, when I'm sure to get results like this? Henry is indeed at the age where a wry smile is where it's at. Man. I miss those guys so much already, and they only left yesterday!

Monday, October 31, 2011

Happy Halloween

Photo: Bob Gruen

I love this photo so much. Mainly because this is the corner of 23rd street and 8th avenue back in the day when what's currently a BBQ was a bank, the ad in the background on the building that's only really appropriate for a pack of smokes was a pack of smokes, and diagonally across from where the awesome band for whom every day was Halloween is standing there was the bowling alley where I won a second-place trophy in 5th grade (I was playing against a bunch of chimpanzees, I'm sure) and the Lamston's where I bought my first Maybelline eyeliner pencil, etc., etc., stood.

But perhaps most of all, look at how Gene Simmons is dressed. Not only do I have clogs almost exactly like that, I would wear his whole dang outfit in a snap. Homey looks sharp!

Friday, October 28, 2011

Halloween anticipation

This year you get a preview of what my sister has cooking. It's gonna be bananas.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

The ol' switcheroo

Here's yet another impossible-not-to-love photography project. Canadian artist Hana Pesut photographs (mostly) straight couples, then has them switch their outfits and takes another picture.

Go here to see more.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Blog infidelity

I wrote a post for MoMA's blog Inside/Out last week.

Ger Van Elk's version of Paul Klee's Around the Fish

I'm sorry oh snap! I still love you as a form of self-indulgence and communication! (And yeah, I know, most of you already heard about this from my post on the social network that shall not be named and other blathering. Apologies for the repetition repetition.)

Friday, September 16, 2011

A big bottle

Can I hear it for public art in New York City? So many messed up things are happening in our fair city: overzealous budget cuts, deranged architecture decisions (farewell, Donnell Library—one of many current "oof" moments in NYC's rapidly changing skyline), squirrel and rat standoffs, etc.—sometimes the only thing that can placate a grouchy urbanite is stumbling across a big, fascinating bottle in a public park.

And when I say big, I mean it. Maybe it's not as sizable as this summer's big, crazy public-art head in Madison Park, but it's still impressive. I ran by it a bunch of times, intending to take a closer look one day.

Then recently, at dusk, I noticed the lights on and went over to check it out. I was really surprised when I looked through one of the portholes. It looks like the perfect apartment for a robot.

Here's a better (but undownloadable) pic of the inside. Can't you easily imagine a friendly little machine toodling around in there, checking his or her email on their smart phone, or washing their hands before dinner?

As I went on my excessively sweaty way, I thought about another perfect resident. I read this article awhile ago about a Seattle program for homeless alcoholics. It provides repeat offenders with government-funded housing where sobriety isn't enforced; an experiment started to stop the endless (and expensive to taxpayers) jail/rehab/emergency room cycle. Of course it turned out to be a big money saver. So wouldn't it be cool if NYC had a bunch of these, say about a million trillion, all piled on top of one another? Maybe entering and leaving a bottle every day would create a "What the hell am I doing with my life?" kind of revelation/new perspective and break the cycle for tons of drunk people! Also, the interiors seem perfect for the rapid and easy cleanup of vomit and other unfortunate accidents. Sorry, gross but true.

This idea was apparently very energizing, as I ended up having a great run that night.

The inside of the bottle is actually, according to artist Malcolm Cochran, a representation of the stateroom in the Queen Mary ocean liner.


Monday, September 12, 2011

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Thanks, Rodriguez

Sure, you pretty much know in advance of your click on "play" that you'll laugh, this does involve Cookie Monster, after all (and if the iconic blue, cookie-loving puppet does not amuse you, you are a very hard case, indeed), but this video struck me as particularly genius. Enjoy!

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

A roundup of almosts and could've beens

I haven't been posting as much this summer, dear readers, mostly because I keep coming across stuff I get excited about and want to share with you, but then five minutes later I'll decide "Nah." I seem to be quite the tough critic lately. (I know. Lately? How about always and forever?)

Like this dresser I noticed in one of Todd Selby's emails about someone's groovy house he recently photographed somewhere.

OK, I just looked it up and it's "Karen and Avril at home in Auckland, New Zealand." Actually, it's very worth clicking through if only to see the weirdly great duvet cover these two made out of old brassieres and girdles. I was also captivated by the photo of Avril and the little city she's working on, probably because it reminded me of the miniature cities my brother I used bang together down in our basement when we were kids. Ours weren't half as fragile and carefully done as Avril's, I'll tell ya that much.

OK, moving on.

I was also going to post about this artist's project of photographing runners after running, and then again, normally dressed.

And about these "brilliantly sarcastic responses to completely well meaning signs."

But I just couldn't get it together to get them up here until now. Finally! Done!

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Debauchery recap

For the third year in a row, I tagged along with P as he attended a cocktail convention in New Orleans. No, I didn't go to the "History and Importance of Ice in Cocktails" seminar as yes, I was more inclined to find myself suddenly surrounded by a promotional rum event and given a free pair of sunglasses, personal water mister and manicure when I'd just been hanging out by the hotel pool reading a book ... but I did learn a few things anyway.

I don't like Negronis. Not even when the gin and Campari are correctly balanced. Speaking of gin, my hotel key card:

Poor, exhausted phrase!

We arrived at the Hotel Monteleone as the street in front of it was being set up for "the world's largest" Genever Kopstootje toast (the Genever Kopstootje [pron. kop-stow-tjuh] is translated as "little head butt" and represents the traditional Dutch version of a beer and a shot) to kick off the convention. Normally an event like this would cause me to drop my bags, roll up my sleeves, and jockey for a space.

Photo courtesy of David Grunfeld, The Times-Picayune

But it was something like 9am. And as I found out later, they were toasting with light beers. Light bottled beers. I'm glad I took a nap instead.

A couple days later, Ricard turned the same street into a P├ętanque court (similar to Bocce ball) to get everyone excited about that lovely anise-flavored liqueur.

Photo courtesy of Crave

But I'm getting ahead of myself. That first night, we went to a huge party at the World War II museum, wherein scores of well-known bartenders dressed in wartime garb were mixing drinks and handing them out to anyone with a free hand.

Outside, in front of the museum, there were two charismatic goats and a hardworking cow hired by Hendrick's gin to supply milk for almost-impossible-to-make-fast Ramos gin fizzes. P and I were psyched to see the animals, but they turned out to be a bittersweet sight to behold. Looked after by their attentive (and I'm pretty sure, sober) handlers, and certainly up to the challenge, they looked sad anyway, like they just wanted to get the heck out of there. Who could blame 'em. I'm sure parties thrown by goats and cows are much different.

I was also distracted by the weirdness of so much boozy socializing under dive bombers and in front of huge war photographs and memorabilia. P reminded me the end of World War II was a joyous occasion, and how museums are often chosen for huge parties and of course get paid for it, and yeah, yeah, yeah, OK.

But I mean, come on.

I know: It's not very New Orleansian to think too penetratingly about anything in the midst of a party, especially one with free drinks and free oysters and free sailor hats and other liquor company swag.

Oh, the swag!

What can I say. My skepticism follows me everywhere.

New Orleans is a fascinating and beautiful place, and I'm lucky to have the chance to get to know it a little better each year.

Where else could Walgreens be


Read about last year's trip here and the year before here.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Monday, June 6, 2011

Can I see your license and registration

Hazel told Brook "I look like Auntie Jocelyn with these sunglasses, take a picture and send it to her!" today. So Brook did. Thanks, B!

Apparently, I look like a highway patrolman.

Now I know why I was so drawn to this whistle at Kiosk recently. I should've bought one. Or two, so the next time I see Hazy we can go out and scribble us up some speeding tickets!